


prepare for trouble

by lionkid (orphan_account)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Double Penetration, I'm Sorry, M/M, Sex Toys, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-21 00:13:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9522221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/lionkid
Summary: Make it double.AKA Dan wants to try something out, and he convinces Phil to do it, because when does he not.





	

**Author's Note:**

> oops

“Dan,” Phil said.

“Phil,” Dan said, mocking his apprehensive tone.

Dan's laptop was balanced precariously on his knees. Onscreen, a man pushed his hips back and whined as two others thrust inside him in a steady rhythm. Phil thought it was attractive, but he did not say as much. He knew it would spur Dan on and make him want to try things Phil wasn't sure they were ready to do.

Watching porn together was not part of their routine, but Dan had given Phil his best doe-eyed look and told him _I have something I wanna show you,_ and Phil just wasn't able to deny him anything. The baggy Vetements sweater Dan wore proved as much.

The men on the video got louder and louder until the one on the bottom came, then the two others kept on moving inside him until they both were sated as well. The screen faded to black and Phil was sure his cheeks were tinged pink—from embarrassment or arousal, he couldn't tell.

“Dan,” Phil repeated. “Why did you show me this?”

“Because,” Dan said. There was that characteristic glint to his eyes that Phil knew very well: it showed up when Dan asked Phil to tie him up; to fasten a collar around his neck; to make him come multiple times in a single night. That was not a good sign. “I want to try it too.”

Phil sighed. “I don't really like the idea of… Other people.” He was just a tiny bit offended that Dan thought he'd be okay with that.

“No, no, no, listen,” Dan cut him off. “We can use a toy. It's been ages since we even touched any of them.”

That made the idea far more appealing but Phil wasn't sure yet. It felt like a big step in their sex life. He told Dan so.

“Phil,” Dan whined. “Please? For me?”

And Phil had never been able to resist a begging Dan. “Can we pause this conversation for now?”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Okay. But you're not getting off the hook that easily, Lester.”

* * *

They unpaused that conversation the next day, at a very inconvenient time, with Phil pressed up against a wall and Dan kissing down his jaw.

“Phil,” Dan breathed. “Can we do that thing? Please?”

It did not take a genius to figure out what Dan meant. “We haven't even talked it through yet,” Phil said. “And you know I'm scared of hurting you, Dan. You know I don't do the whole pushing you to your limits thing.”

“I know,” Dan said. “You spent three weeks researching rope burns and nerve damage before tying me up. But this is different.”

“How is this any different?”

Dan moved up again and tugged Phil's earlobe between his teeth. “Because this isn't actually dangerous and you know it,” he whispered. “And if I want to stop, there's no hassle. You just pull out. No scissors needed. I know I can trust you.”

Phil knew he couldn't argue against a determined Dan. Instead, he avoided conversation by taking matters into his own hands and kissing Dan—just long enough to shut him up for the moment.

* * *

Phil groaned when he opened the door to his bedroom and found Dan sat on the bed. That would've normally been a great surprise under different circumstances, but Dan was holding a dildo with one hand and a bottle of lube with the other.

“No,” Phil said.

“Please,” Dan pleaded. Phil shook his head and turned on the TV. “Please, Phil, come on.”

“Dan, I just don't think it's the best idea.”

“But why?”

Phil took a deep breath in, out. “Because I'm scared of hurting you when I fuck you slightly faster than average. I can't deal with the pressure of that. _And_ I don't think I'd be able to move a dildo while thrusting in a coordinated manner.”

Dan pouted and crossed his arms. Phil switched on the latest episode of Haikyuu; he wasn't even particularly interested in the show anymore, but he needed something to steer the conversation away from that. Preferably forever.

* * *

Phil went up to the office and turned on the computer. The familiar noise of the machine almost made him feel at peace with the idea of editing hours of footage.

He glanced up at the screen and blinked twice. Someone (Dan, that's who) had changed the wallpaper since he last used the office computer. It was no longer the pretty promotional art of Lion's Arch during Wintersday—that had been replaced by a terrifying picture of Dan holding two silicone dicks and winking at the camera.

Phil sighed and decided he could edit later. He turned off the monitor and made a beeline for the kitchen. Dan was there, preparing the sweet potato soup he'd looked up when he first decided to go vegan.

“You see, all of this really isn't helping your case,” Phil said. He hugged Dan from behind and kissed the nape of his neck. “Do you want me to dice the squash?”

Dan didn't acknowledge the first comment. “Yes please,” he said.

“This smells really good,” Phil added. He knew the comment could be taken as sycophantic but it was true. Despite their mutually shared clumsiness, Dan was a good cook. Phil started to peel the squash with utmost care.

“I thought you were editing?” Dan asked. His voice didn't waver but Phil noticed the smirk playing at his lips—the bastard knew what he was doing to Phil.

Two could play at that game. “Yeah, some external circumstances stopped me from doing it,” Phil said. “I guess you're gonna have to do it, huh?”

“I suppose.”

* * *

A week of constantly teasing and begging later, Phil agreed to try it out.

“If you do the laundry for a month,” he said. “And don't ask me to get the door at 7 in the morning when the postman comes.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Okay.” He offered his hand for Phil to shake. “No taking back promises, I hope you know that.”

Phil shook his hand. He didn't let go and turned his harsh grip into softly intertwining their fingers. “When have I ever broken a promise?”

“Do you want it in chronological or alphabetical order?”

* * *

Dan lay in bed with his head propped up on a pillow, lazily jerking himself off until Phil came in.

The sight of Dan like that—stripped bare and waiting for him—went straight to Phil's dick, even if he was looking for a bit of foreplay. All the possible scenarios played in his head: Dan fucking him until he was on the brink of orgasm, giving Dan head until he came, getting both of them off at the same time. But there was a thing they'd set out to do, and Phil was going to comply.

The mattress dipped when Phil crawled on the bed and hovered over Dan. He put his hands on either side of Dan's head and kissed him. That he could do: it was familiar and soothed his nerves.

Phil moved down so he could press kisses down Dan's jaw, shuffling lower and lower until he could suck a mark onto his neck.

“Get off me, you freaking vampire,” Dan teased. He shoved Phil to the side and pinned him to the bed. “I'm gonna suck you off now, and it's gonna be great.”

True to his word, Dan lay with his legs dangling off the bed, awkwardly settled in the spread of Phil's thighs. He undid the button with deft hands and pulled Phil's trousers and pants down to his knees.

Dan took Phil's dick in his left hand, grinned and pulled the foreskin back to expose the head. He ran his thumb over it with decorum he didn't usually have, spreading the pre-come seeping out of the slit. Dan leaned in and wrapped his lips around the head, slowly stroking the shaft as he bobbed up and down.

Phil's hand ran through Dan's messy hair, grabbing the curls for some leverage. He tugged hard when Dan cupped his balls and rubbed them with his sturdy palm.

“Stop or I'm not gonna last,” Phil breathed. “And I doubt you want me to do _that_ when I'm not hard.”

Dan raised an eyebrow and pulled back. The string of saliva between his swollen lips and the tip of Phil's cock should've been unsettling, but it only served to make Phil want to leave Dan debauched and begging for more.

Dan bent over and rummaged under the bed. He'd left a pink dildo there. “Look at this baby,” he said, holding it up like Rafiki held Simba under the sun. Phil rolled his eyes. “Ready to wreck havoc?” Dan asked.

“Please don't say that in this context,” Phil said, but took the dildo anyway. It was girthy and long and he had no idea how that was going to fit.

“Your wish is my command,” Dan said. He retrieved a bottle of lube from the same place he'd hidden the dildo, popped the cap open and tossed it at Phil. “So we're really doing this, huh?”

“We are,” Phil murmured.

“By the way, I did some stuff when I showered. So you can just shove that up in there.”

Phil's face went red. “Don't say that,” he scolded, though he appreciated the extra effort. It'd make things much easier. He slicked up the toy, sliding his hand up and down like he was jerking it off, until it was entirely coated in lube. It was so slippery he almost dropped it. Dan snorted.

“Should I, uh, go first? Or the dildo?” Phil asked. He slid his trousers and boxers off in a swift movement, so he could smear the leftover lube over his own cock. “I don't know how to do this, oh my God.”

“You go first,” Dan said. “Come on. It's just me,” he added and climbed onto Phil's lap, straddling him and swaying his hips.

“I'm not scared for _me,_ I'm scared for _you._ ”

“Oh yeah, because you're totally gonna tear me apart with your monster cock.”

Phil sighed. “You know that's not what I mean.” He took revenge on Dan by gripping his cock with his lubed hand and teasing him with long, hard strokes. He then moved further down and teased Dan's arse with two fingers. “Ready?”

Dan hummed and crawled a bit so he'd be lined up with Phil's dick, close enough for their chests to press together. He sank slow and steady, an impressive amount of strength in his thighs that Phil did not know Dan even had. Phil groaned when the head of his dick pushed inside him, then the first few inches.

Dan firmly held onto Phil's shoulders until he was properly seated, reveling in the stretch and the familiar feeling of Phil under him. He kissed Phil, just to remind himself that he could.

“Alright,” Dan sighed. “Now I move.”

It didn't take long before they settled into a steady rhythm of Dan pushing himself down and Phil thrusting into him. Phil really, _really_ liked to watch the way Dan's face went pink and his hair curled from the layer of sweat on his forehead.

Not too much strain was needed to tire him out, though, and Dan halted. Phil knew what he wanted, even without any words, and put his right hand on the small of Dan's back. He slowly dragged it down until it was teasing at Dan's hole, then pushed a single finger inside him.

“Oh, Jesus,” Dan moaned. “That's—that's good. Please keep doing that.”

Phil wondered what was it about pushing his own limits that made Dan go limp and pliant. He pressed his middle next to his forefinger and thrust a couple of times, wanting to gauge Dan's reaction. Phil could feel the slow drag of his wet fingers against his own cock and it was much, much better than he'd imagined.

After a while, Dan's muscles relaxed and he got used to the feeling. “Do you want me to use it?” Phil asked.

“Yes,” Dan whined. “Come on, stop waiting so much, please.” He sounded like a spoiled brat, but Phil just couldn't tell him no.

Phil used more lube on the dildo—maybe he was being overzealous, but hurting Dan would counter his goal of _pleasuring_ him. He nudged the toy against Dan's arse, thought about what it'd feel like when it slid against his cock.

“Can I do it?”

Dan nodded.

Phil didn't know someone could feel so tight—but then the dildo squeezed and pushed in. Dan dug and dragged his nails down Phil's back, cried out and sagged against his shoulder when it was fully sheathed inside.

“I feel like I've just gone to heaven and back,” Dan said. Phil chuckled—at least the overwhelming sensation hadn't taken away his sense of humour. “Maybe hell, don't know just yet. Jesus on a bike, I feel actually wrecked. I'm a mess.”

Phil cut him off by bucking his hips up. “Does that,” he breathed, “satisfy your curiosity?” He moved the dildo in time with his thrusts, alternating between his dick and the toy.

“Oh, fuck yes it does. Fucking—curiosity sated,” Dan whined. He felt full and aching and he wanted to come so badly. He started to move up and down once again, giving Phil time to adjust to his rhythm. There wasn't a single second of relief—when Phil pushed in, the dildo immediately followed as soon as he moved out.

Phil took Dan's cock in his free hand. The strokes were clumsy, what with being right-handed and all, but Dan seemed to not mind it in the slightest. Phil pulled the dildo out just as Dan's breathing got faster and turned into soft gasps, something Phil knew meant he was _so_ close.

With the toy gone, Phil could finally let go; he thrust inside Dan hard and fast until they were both on the brink. Then Dan came, left his own stomach dirty with come and sweat. He kept on moving even after that, pushed his hips down until Phil's orgasm hit him too.

* * *

They stayed in silence for a while after Dan rolled off Phil's lap and flopped onto the mattress. Phil's come slowly leaked out of his arse, but he paid it no mind.

“Jesus,” Phil said.

“I'm not cleaning up,” Dan complained. “I feel so sticky and dirty.”

“Your idea, you clean up. And you're doing the laundry as per our agreement,” Phil mumbled. “So you're the one washing these gross stains. Yuck.”

“Please don't leave me to clean up my own jizz.”

“Your idea, you clean up,” Phil repeated, then rolled onto his side. He reached out for the box on his bedside table and took a few tissues.

He started lazily wiping off some of the mess on their chests. “That's gross,” Dan whined.

“Don't forget you're cleaning up the rest,” Phil said. He tossed the dirty tissues to the ground—Dan could take care of that.

Later. When he wasn't so absurdly sore, maybe.

**Author's Note:**

> twitter.com/kaonashidan


End file.
